Paranoia O: Paranoia Rpg Portal
Last Update: 9.23.03
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Website under Renovation! This has nothing to do with the failed Commie attacks of last weekcycle. You are in error, citizen. There are no broken links/images/pages. Thank you for your cooperation.

Welcome, Troubleshooter!

Your service to the Computer has been rewarded! You have been promoted to security clearance Red. You have also been volunteered to join the Troubleshooters. Aren't you amazed by your enthusiasm?

What's that? You don't WANT to be a Troubleshooter? Aw, come on! Imagine how disappointed Friend Computer would be if you turned down Its generous offer! That’s like turning down a PA online casinowelcome bonus!. Please think about it for a moment. Don't let the laser turrets locking on you even as we speak influence your judgement.

You'll accept the job? Excellent! I knew you would come around.

As a Troubleshooter, your job is to serve the Computer with your fellow Troubleshooters. Beware though, traitors are everywhere. Anyone could be one: that Infrared over there, the friendly IntSec agent watching you, even your own teammates! Stay alert! Report any treason to the Computer. Failure to do so is in itself treason.

Most of your companions will serve the Computer loyally. Others assist the Commie Mutant Traitors by being members of Secret Societies or unregistered mutants or both. Communists are everywhere. The enemy is everywhere. Trust no one!

You will be assigned standard Troubleshooting equipment. You will receive more equipment suited to your mission from PLC. You will even receive experimental equipment from R&D; to ensure your mission's success. Give thanks for the Computer's bountiful generosity! Preserve this equipment with your life. Only traitors would want to destroy the Computer's resources.

Your missions might take you to unfamiliar sections of the Alpha Complex. They might take you to strange new worlds. They might even take you to the Outside. The Commies are numerous, and you must be ready to fight them, anywhere, anytime. Keep your laser handy!

Do well and you will be rewarded beyond your wildest dreams. Be revealed as a traitor and you will meet a hideous end. Just remember to smile for the firing squad; happiness is mandatory! Serve the Computer, the Computer is your friend.

9.24.03by Mike-U-LEM

The CRD Sector website has gone down (and just after I made sure that link was active, too). I don't know whether it's a temporary outage or whether the website has finally been yanked. I hope it isn't the latter, as it was a decent-sized Paranoia site with quite a few interesting things, the Game Stories section in particular.

Just in case, though, I saved the cached version of the Game Stories from Google. Those stories are just too good to let them go down with the ship. Maybe I'll post them up here if CRD Sector goes down for good.

9.23.03by Mike-U-LEM

The renovation of the main page continues. The webring image has been cleaned up and style sheets have been added. Everything looks great with the latest versions of both Explorer and Mozilla. All of the miscellaneous stuff has been cleaned up: Contact info, Links, the Forums, Current Games, Previous Updates, all of it's been spiffed up. All that's left is the chunky stuff, the PC & GM info that makes up the heart of any good Paranoia site. Another day or two and hopefully they'll look as good as the rest of the site. It's getting close, people.

9.21.03by Mike-U-LEM

Notice anything different? After much waiting, the front page has finally been cleaned up. What used to be a morass of hideous computer-generated HTML code has become much more managable, at the expense of what little sanity I had left. The end result is that the front page looks a bit different now, and it's also a heckuva lot easier for us to update.

Now that that's taken care of, we can move on to renovating each section. We also need to take care of a few more things in the front page itself, like the webring link and the text settings. In other words, expect a lot more updates in the future.

19.aug.03by D-U-NAM


The war with the commie complex paranoia-live has gone incredibly well. Striking victory after victory, securing location after location, a single troubleshooter team was enough to overtake this commie complex! Yes, it is easy to serve the one and only friend computer. Comrade computer's circuits have been assimilated and computer response delay may decrease by as much as 0.001 secondcycles. After building several new connecting corridors, paranoia-live is now a humble extension of our own.

From now on it is treasonous to treat any paranoia-live citizen as you would, say, a registered mutant. Please try to imagine the trauma they've experienced by having to serve a commie computer that forced them to share everything equally instead of reward according to loyalty. For further information see this link: [Deleted for security reasons].

Rejoice! Now all in chorus, out loud "Glory glory hail computer!". As a reward for everyclone's loyal serving during this situation, everyclone will be awarded two additional workcycles per daycycle!

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Paranoia: A light-hearted game of a darkly humorous future, filled with terror, Commies, mutants, bureaucracy, mad scientists, mutants, big guns, mad bots, death, and the courteous-yet-psychotic Computer, where players are encouraged to cheat, lie, backstab, and crawl to the top over each other's smoking corpses.

The name Paranoia, along with references to situations and characters in the work, are used here with the permission of the copyright owners. If you ever violate this, please go directly to the Termination Center; do not pass Sector GO, do not collect 200 plasticreds.